A New Craving

I’ve had this craving for the past week or so, and I haven’t been able to satisfy it at all. Not even once. I’ve had this craving for sexual stimulation and penetration of my anus.  I’ve always been afraid of going back there.

I will admit though, that I did play there a few times when I was about 19, and before M and I met.  I used to have this feeling that because girls didn’t like me, I was starting to think that I was meant to be a gay man, and being a gay man meant that I had to be penetrated anally. So yes I have penetrated my anus before, a few times actually, but since meeting M, I haven’t really had the desire to go there since, until now!!

I certainly don’t understand why all of a sudden, I have this urge to penetrate myself anally. Maybe it is because I want to lead by example, and that if I am happy to have my anus penetrated, that M would be more willing to have hers penetrated as well. Maybe that is the case, but I’m not really all that sure either.

I’ve had a number of suggestions about toys that I should purchase for such a thing, and honestly I probably would have bought them already if I wasn’t so strapped for cash right at the moment, or I had the balls to walk into a physical sex toy shop rather than purchasing online at one of my 3 favourite toy stores. —>

I think I still have the “toy” I used in the past to penetrate myself anally, somewhere in my mess of a bedroom.  It involved a rubber glove & a material “sleeve” stuffed with toy fill.  I filled the thumb of the glove with the material sleeve and then stuffed it full of the toy fill.  It seemed to do the job, and I managed to take it all inside me, well more the whole diameter, the stretched thumb of the glove was only about 2.5 inches in length. My lube of choice at the time with Vaseline, and plenty of it as I have read on a number of blogs since doing it for the first time.  I always thought I was using too much lube at the time, but now reading, it probably used enough, some would probably still say not enough.

It certainly did feel good at the time, and I usually got myself off at the same time.  The only problem I found was that it lacked a head so that it would stay in my anus while I was masturbating, and so I had to hold it.  But otherwise I think it did the job.  I might take a picture of it and share with you some day soon.

Wow!! I didn’t realise I would share that much of my past sexual experiences with you. ~B